I think I've figured out why I've been such a grumpy old cuss the past six months or so. It's a simple case of my life being out of balance. Between juggling my entrepreneurial pursuits, buying a new house, selling the old house, a dearth of paying acting jobs, etc., my life is just plain out of whack.
I'm not saying my problems are worse than anybody else's, it's just that I've generally supported the insanity of an acting career (which I very definitely want) by having an exceptionally stable Rest of My Life. And generally it's been somewhat self-correcting — unlike acting, I tend not to engage in activities that don't have a fairly certain payoff or benefit and, except for my marriage or family relationships of course, I drop those things from my life that start to go sour.
Except, recently, I haven't beeen able to do that. Houses, for instance, don't just sell themselves according to how badly you need the money, and credit card companies don't take "I'm a Bohemian living a life less ordinary," as an excuse for getting your credit card payment in late. Cue the pathos, cue the self-serving righteousness, cue the crabbiness. And, since a diary gets double-barrels of whatever emotional extreme I'm serving, my posts seem lately to have been more yang than yin.
Had a night shoot last week. Nice to be among the normally abnormal again. Also have a few jobs in the booth lined up for next week. I'll try to break with recent tradition by just embracing those for the good they represent, rather than trying to qualify them by stating any perceived downside (e.g., "Hey, I've just been elected President! On the other hand, half the world wants to kill me...")
Maybe I just need a slap upside the head...